They say that beginnings are always the hardest. I will begin to fulfill my dreams tomorrow. I want to live, for her and for me, for the both of us now. I cannot face her one day and tell her that I spend my life trying to forget the past but still living in it. I will be brave. I want to experience life and have something to give back to it.
For now, I am not yet sure how I can do that, or what will I need and where on earth will I start. But, well-- I want to go places and prove even to myself that no matter how cruel and unfair the world is, it is after all a beautiful place. I want to see people. I want to learn more. I will try and fill myself with stories, so that when I finally see her I can proudly tell her that I have lived a life.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
WAITING AND RECEIVING
IN THIS MOMENT by David Archuleta
Drivin' through the city
For the first time, you and me
Starrin' through window in my own reflection
How can a window encompass perfection
Now that I know what its like to be livin'
This beautiful world
Never stops givin'
I can't return to a life with no vision
Born into wise of my mind own decision
And I..
wanna be
in this moment
No one can take it away
And I..
wanna stay
in this moment
No one can take it away from me
Give me a chance and I'll show you what's real
Open my eyes and you'll see
That Im stuck in the moment
And no one can take it from me
I would have never known the beauty of this words until now. January 15, 2014. Its a glorious day for all of the new registered nurse named by the Professional Regulation Commission. I am one of them.
4864 Gaspar, Allyssa Joy Satin.
I feel ecstatic. Its like I can fly and touch the sky.
Those dreaded nights where gone. The tyranny of conscious mind: What if you don't make it? What if you make it? was behind me now.
I learned so much about waiting and of trusting to the ONE who knows what will happen tomorrow. As I am waiting for the result, I remember how hard it is to see the unseen, to believed for something you cannot see yet in the physical and what the word patience really is.
As of now, let me taste the moment. Let me rejoice that all the hard work I have invested had been paid of. It may be stupid of me. You may even say that I still have miles to go, but for now, and for the next thirty days to come, let me savor the victory I had prepared myself for four years.
Drivin' through the city
For the first time, you and me
Starrin' through window in my own reflection
How can a window encompass perfection
Now that I know what its like to be livin'
This beautiful world
Never stops givin'
I can't return to a life with no vision
Born into wise of my mind own decision
And I..
wanna be
in this moment
No one can take it away
And I..
wanna stay
in this moment
No one can take it away from me
Give me a chance and I'll show you what's real
Open my eyes and you'll see
That Im stuck in the moment
And no one can take it from me
I would have never known the beauty of this words until now. January 15, 2014. Its a glorious day for all of the new registered nurse named by the Professional Regulation Commission. I am one of them.
4864 Gaspar, Allyssa Joy Satin.
I feel ecstatic. Its like I can fly and touch the sky.
Those dreaded nights where gone. The tyranny of conscious mind: What if you don't make it? What if you make it? was behind me now.
I learned so much about waiting and of trusting to the ONE who knows what will happen tomorrow. As I am waiting for the result, I remember how hard it is to see the unseen, to believed for something you cannot see yet in the physical and what the word patience really is.
As of now, let me taste the moment. Let me rejoice that all the hard work I have invested had been paid of. It may be stupid of me. You may even say that I still have miles to go, but for now, and for the next thirty days to come, let me savor the victory I had prepared myself for four years.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
THAT NOTE IN MINOR C
Last December 23, 2013
The air was crisp. Nights longer than days. Children wearing their brand new sets of outfits. You can hear that soft music of christmas songs playing in the neighborhood. Everyone was busy buying gifts, planning what menu will be serve and place to spend the holidays to. Christmas is really in the air.
Christmas. December 25. The birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ. By the way, be with me at this very moment and let's thank the Lord for giving us the most precious gift ever existed--Salvation. "I thank you Lord for saving my soul."
I had visited my friend last day. We had a conversation and it turns out bittersweet. She still misses her youngest sibling. She knew that for the years to come, christmas will always remind her of what she had lost, what she don't have and what she suppose to have but wouldn't be. I do think its crazy. Being happy and sad all along for the same day. She cannot be happy because she feels that any extreme happiness will be a betrayal to her sister who was not given a chance to feel life as she had. She feels that she should hold on and continue to grieve because its the only rope that connects her to her sister. In grief, she feels most close to her again. Like they'd been back in those good old days. She doesn't know how could it be, that she always want to experience life and yet cannot appreciate any of it. Yes, I know. She knows. You don't have to judge anymore.
I wonder how many broken hearts and broken souls was out there. Though in the midst of bright lights and laughter had manage to keep a happy face and at the end of the day finds themselves just the way it was before--alone. People say life is too short to waste that's why you have to live it to the fullest. I find it ironic that in loneliness and sadness, wisdom was there. You don't get any lesson worthy in happiness. And just like my instrument, people appreciate the minor c more than those in sharps.
The air was crisp. Nights longer than days. Children wearing their brand new sets of outfits. You can hear that soft music of christmas songs playing in the neighborhood. Everyone was busy buying gifts, planning what menu will be serve and place to spend the holidays to. Christmas is really in the air.
Christmas. December 25. The birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ. By the way, be with me at this very moment and let's thank the Lord for giving us the most precious gift ever existed--Salvation. "I thank you Lord for saving my soul."
I had visited my friend last day. We had a conversation and it turns out bittersweet. She still misses her youngest sibling. She knew that for the years to come, christmas will always remind her of what she had lost, what she don't have and what she suppose to have but wouldn't be. I do think its crazy. Being happy and sad all along for the same day. She cannot be happy because she feels that any extreme happiness will be a betrayal to her sister who was not given a chance to feel life as she had. She feels that she should hold on and continue to grieve because its the only rope that connects her to her sister. In grief, she feels most close to her again. Like they'd been back in those good old days. She doesn't know how could it be, that she always want to experience life and yet cannot appreciate any of it. Yes, I know. She knows. You don't have to judge anymore.
I wonder how many broken hearts and broken souls was out there. Though in the midst of bright lights and laughter had manage to keep a happy face and at the end of the day finds themselves just the way it was before--alone. People say life is too short to waste that's why you have to live it to the fullest. I find it ironic that in loneliness and sadness, wisdom was there. You don't get any lesson worthy in happiness. And just like my instrument, people appreciate the minor c more than those in sharps.
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