THE END

When did I become an ending hater?

I think it started long ago, my age I cannot recall. It happened when my mother brought me my first novel to read, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. I remember holding the book on my hands with wide smile on my face, opening it apart and smelling the pages. Then I examined the cover, the synopsis on the back and ran a finger on the spine. The thing is that I opened the last page and read the last paragraph before starting it from the beginning. I don't know why but it became my unminded rule when it comes to reading books. The same goes with me watching animes and series. I always watch the last 10minutes of the last episode first.

Even in my first novel, I have not finish writing the entirety of it but I already wrote the last paragraph, which I planned to place in the fourth book. :)

It makes me wonder now that I realize this weird habit of mine, how did I become like this?

I am aware that everything has to end--eventually. Nothing and no one will remain, yes, with the exception of our Lord Almighty and that force which they say "makes the world go round"--love. Aside from these two, all things will be reduce to nothing. Actually, I can't help but ask why in all our mortality do we still believe in forever.

I think its because we cannot comprehend endings. We were made without the capacity to accept that there are some things we cannot hold on to for eternity. If that was it then it explains why we continue to live our life (still) with the people we lose along the way. Whether its death or circumstances, we keep thinking how and why will we live even if they're not here with us. This might explains why even though we reached the end of our favorite movie, series or book and the conclusion satisfies us, we still can't help but think what goes beyond it.

I kinda realized now... maybe we are just infinite creatures. :P Our bodies will wear out and die but we cannot die at all. There is no death and the concept of ending is nothing but absurdity. We all goes beyond that, living, breathing or thinking is not the issue. I do believe we all goes beyond that.