The most memorable Dan Brown's quote for me came from his Digital Fortress; "They say that all things became clear in the face of death," and ironically in my profession, I have witness quite many deaths this past days than I ever had while watching the evening news.
I have been there, face to face with a person whose heart beats for the last time. It was like they've gone from being someone to... I'm not sure. It's as if they become someone else when they die. This reminds me of my sister back to the moment the operating nurses brought her out, wrapped in a green blanket from head to toe. I remember tearing a part of it away, because... I'm not sure why either. All I know during that moment is if her face is wrapped with a blanket, how the hell will she breathe through that. And I saw her face. With bloody nose, eyelids close for forever, pupils that won't dilate... (Ughh. This is hard for me to write down, you know) Then, I remember the distant feeling I have while looking down on "that" lifeless body. I remember asking myself who the hell is that because it couldn't possibly be my sister. My sister was warm, alive, cunning and laughing days ago but "that" thing, "THAT" THING, doesn't have its chest rise up and down. It's like she became someone else. Someone who looks like my sister but isn't really my sister.
I wonder what are the things that became clear in the face of death? Who are we when we die? What become of us?
Will we still be able to be who we know ourselves to be on the other side? Who we become in there? I wonder now.
But no one knows.
I don't even know.
What happens when we die is one of life's greatest mystery. We are not allowed to have a glimpse of it. The dead stay silent... and all we could do is wait.
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