TWENTY THREE

"The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die."
-Juliette Lewis

I turned twenty three years old today.

While everyone around my age were having the best times of their life, here I am, alone in my room, contemplating the things that makes me who I am at this moment.

And what did I become after all these years?

Well, let's start by sayng that I become a registered professional, working in one of the most recognized institution in the Philippines. People say that I'm the lucky one. After all, not everyone on my age gets to earn as much as I do.  I'm getting to blend in the society. I guess, people are starting to recognized my existence. I've got to make new friends... those of benefits and those who can only smile at me. I'm not boasting or anything because I don't think this is something I could boast... actually, this is something my parents could boast. They worked hard to make a person out of me. It's their sacrifices that makes me what they want their child to be.

But as being me... who wants to have their life planned out for them?

I know what I can boast.

I'm already twenty three and the previous year had been my year. I found myself and decided to live in it. I wrote and wrote and I find my own infinity. I want to become a writer and all of me shouts of it. Writing and creating worlds and characters makes me alive and breathing. That was the "me" I am searching all my life. And I knew that I was born for it.

I've been through a lot. There are times when I would ask myself if I can keep standing through the storms. But at the end of the day, the storms always calm down, leaving me fiercer and firmer on my ground. I quit the game of making people like me. Somehow, what they say about me doesn't bother me anymore. I've learned to own myself.

Like what I'm always saying, I don't know what tomorrow brings me. But I do know that I will always be that girl from a long time ago. I will always believe in magic. I will always believe that despite everything, the world isn't really an awful place. I've learned to accept that I will grow old, but I don't have to grow up.

I guess it's a happy birthday to me then :)